When Other Kids Notice: Teasing, Reading Groups and Being "The Slow One"

By Laura Lurns · Reviewed by Philip Weaver · Last reviewed 2026-10-22

When other kids notice

Maybe your child came home upset about a comment on their spelling. Maybe they do not want to go to their reading group.

This page covers what studies found about bullying. It also covers what we would say and do.

What studies found about bullying

This part covers two surveys and one review.

A US study surveyed secondary students with and without disabilities (Rose and colleagues, 2015). Students with disabilities reported being bullied more often. It was a survey at one point in time. It is a link, not proof of a cause.

Another US survey asked middle school students about bullying (Rose, Espelage and colleagues, 2015). Some had learning disabilities, and some did not. Students with more support from classmates reported less bullying and less being bullied. They also reported less fighting and anger. It is a link, not proof of a cause.

One review mapped the research on mental health in dyslexia (Wilmot and colleagues, 2023). It names bullying among the strains reported alongside dyslexia. It names friendship and feeling part of school as possible protections. Few of the studies it covered tested whether those protections work.

What school programs found

This part covers one review and one trial.

A 2021 review pooled 100 studies of school anti-bullying programs (Gaffney and colleagues, 2021). On average, the programs reduced bullying and being bullied. The authors call the effects modest. The review left out studies of children with special needs. So it does not show results for children with learning difficulties in particular.

One randomized trial followed 123 middle schoolers with a disability (Espelage and colleagues, 2015). Over three years, their teachers taught lessons on empathy, bullying and handling feelings. Bullying by students in the lessons went down, compared with students who did not get them. The summary does not report a change in being bullied.

Except for the 2021 review, we read only summaries of the studies above. Nothing in the studies on this page tests Learning Success.

Reading groups and extra help

We hold no study of how children feel about leaving class for extra help. So what follows is our practice, not a finding.

• Ask your child how the group feels to them.
• Listen before you answer.
• Ask the teacher how the group is explained in class.
• Tell the teacher what your child says at home.
• In our view, time with a friend is worth making room for.

When other kids call your child "the slow one"

Sometimes the hurt is a word another child uses. To us, a child who reads slowly is not a slow child. In our view, reading speed is one skill, not a measure of the child.

Here are words we suggest. They are our examples, not from a study.

• To your child: "Reading is one thing you are working on. It is not all of you."
• To your child: "Tell me what they said. I want to hear it."
• For your child to use: "I'm working on my reading. That's all."

You can use the same words for spelling or math.

When to tell the school

In our view, tell the school the same day if your child is hurt or threatened.

Write down what happened, when, and who was there. Bring it to the teacher. These steps are our own practice.

When to ask for help

Each of these is a reason to ask for help on its own.

• Little change, even with steady practice and good teaching.
• Schoolwork well below what school expects.
• A teacher who raises a concern about learning.
• Extreme upset about schoolwork.
• Complete avoidance of school or learning.
• Hopelessness about learning.
• Sadness or worry that lasts.
• Significant delays in speech, language or motor development.
• A skill that was there and has gone. Our position is that a lost skill goes to a doctor first, not a tutor.

If no skill has gone, start with the teacher. Say what you are seeing at home, and what you have tried. Beyond the teacher, the right person depends on what it turns out to be about. If the work is too hard, someone who works on that school skill. If worry or mood is the thing, someone who works with children's mental health. In our view, delays in speech, language or movement are worth raising with your child's doctor. In our view, if you are worried enough to ask, a professional evaluation is worth asking about.

Any talk of hurting themselves is a same-day call to your doctor or a crisis line.