Parenting a Child With Math Difficulties: Your Own Stress
We hold no study of stress in parents of children who struggle with math. One study asked parents about homework stress (Katz and colleagues, 2022). Parents of a child with a learning disability reported more, on average. We read only the study's summary. In our view, if your own stress or low mood lasts, raise it with your own doctor.
TL;DR
- One study asked 108 parents about homework stress (Katz and colleagues, 2022). Half had a child with a learning disability. On average, those parents reported more stress, shame and guilt than the other parents. We could read only the study's summary.
- A 2014 review pooled 48 trials of group parenting programs (Barlow and colleagues, 2014). The programs eased parents' stress in the short term. By one year, none of the gains held up. The programs were about parenting in general, not about learning difficulties. We could read only the review's summary.
- Keep math time short, and plan breaks for yourself. These steps are our own practice, not a tested method.
Parenting stress. As we use the words, parenting stress is the strain a parent feels from the work of raising a child.
”Parenting stressThe short answer
We hold no study of stress in parents of children who struggle with math. The studies on this page are not about math. So we cannot say whether math in particular adds to a parent's stress. Our page on math anxiety covers parents' own worry about math and homework help.
What a review found about parents' stress
A 2018 review pooled 133 studies of parenting stress (Barroso and colleagues, 2018). Parents' stress went with their children's behavior problems. It was highest in parents of children with autism or developmental delay. Learning disability was not one of the groups the review named. The review shows links at one point in time, not causes. We could read only summaries of the studies on this page.
Steps you can try for yourself
- Keep math time short. Stop while it is still going well.
- Plan a small break for yourself each week, away from schoolwork.
- Tell the teacher how homework is going at home.
- If a math session turns into a fight, stop for the night. Try again tomorrow.
These steps are our own practice, not a tested method. Nothing in the studies on this page tests Learning Success.
When to ask for help
Each of these is a reason to ask for help on its own.
- Little change, even with steady practice and good teaching.
- Math well below your child's other schoolwork.
- A teacher who raises a concern about math.
- Extreme upset about math.
- Complete avoidance of math.
- Worry about math that spreads into the rest of learning.
- Sadness or worry that lasts.
- A skill that was there and has gone. Our position is that a lost skill goes to a doctor first, not a tutor.
If no skill has gone, start with the teacher. Say what you are seeing at home, and what you have tried. Beyond the teacher, the right person depends on what it turns out to be about. If the work is too hard, someone who works on that school skill. If worry or mood is the thing, someone who works with children's mental health. In our view, if you are worried enough to ask, a professional evaluation is worth asking about.
In our view, if your own stress or low mood lasts, raise it with your own doctor.
Any talk of hurting themselves is a same-day call to your doctor or a crisis line.
If you ever think about hurting yourself, that is a same-day call too. Call your doctor or a crisis line.
What to use next
A set of questions you answer about what you see at home. A screener is a starting point, not a diagnosis. If your child might need formal accommodations (an IEP or 504 plan), or you suspect a vision, hearing, or medical cause, pursue a professional evaluation too — that's the only route to those supports.
What sits underneath arithmetic, one skill at a time, worked alongside math instruction, not in place of it.
Common questions from parents
Do other parents feel this stressed?
We hold no study of stress in parents of children who struggle with math. One study asked 108 parents about homework stress (Katz and colleagues, 2022). Half had a child with a learning disability. On average, those parents reported more stress, shame and guilt than the other parents. We could read only the study's summary. That finding is about groups of parents. It does not say how any one parent feels. In our view, if your own stress or low mood lasts, raise it with your own doctor.
Can a parenting program ease my stress?
We hold no study of easing stress in parents of children with learning difficulties. A 2014 review pooled 48 trials of group parenting programs (Barlow and colleagues, 2014). The programs eased parents' stress and raised their confidence in the short term. By one year, none of the gains held up. The programs were about parenting in general, not about learning difficulties. We could read only the review's summary. In our view, if your own stress or low mood lasts, raise it with your own doctor.
How do I look after myself while I help?
Keep math time short. Stop while it is still going well. Plan a small break for yourself each week, away from schoolwork. These steps are our own practice, not a tested method.